I Loved You

I loved you.

I still do.

I know you never will forgive me.

I will never forgive you either.

If I knew what you were going to do,

I still would have been with you.

I loved you too much.

Too much that when you left,

I was destroyed beyond repair.

I was a china doll that had been mistreated by a child.

My heart was shattered,

Never to be fixed,

Never to be loved.

I was left in the wasteland of the lonely.

Hiding behind a mask of happiness,

I watched you move on.

That was when the pot started to boil.

Revenge was all I wanted.

The only think holding me back was my kindness.

I could never hurt you or anyone in general.

I had too much compassion.

Revenge turned to anxiety and depression.

You thought I was becoming dull and stupid,

You thought I was stupid.

And I believed you.

I let you push the limits.

I pulled my hair,

I scratched myself,

I wrote on myself about how stupid I was,

And how he was right.

Now I'm scared,

For I want to break this sadness.

I want to ask for forgiveness even though the answer will be no.

I will die a little inside,

For I love you.

And always will.

Now I ask you,

Do you love me?

For I have and will love you forever.